I’m only a month away from being 30. Oh God, I’ll be 30! What have I learned from being on this planet for 30 years?
That no matter what, it’s going to be okay.
The last five years have been devastating, heart-wrenching and so painful BUT have also been the most incredible, uplifting, remarkable years that can only be summed up as pure fuckery.
Another amazing thing that 30 years of being alive has gifted me with is, being content with not being liked by everyone. I so desperately wanted acceptance and unconditional love my whole life, and I always looked to receive it from others by trying to be likable. I realized over the years, that I was conditioned to look for external validation without really appreciating, respecting and loving the soul, body and life I have been offered by the universe.
I am OK with not being liked. I’m not ecstatic about it when I come to learn that someone may not like me. I know that it’s not that big of deal, and that there are a variety of reasons that have led them to feel that way and I don’t need to convince them of anything. I don’t mind if they don’t, and I don’t need to not like them. I feel neutral; at peace. No one really knows anyone; you are the only person who has been with you the entire time. You know that those times you made an inappropriate joke, you didn’t mean to be racist, but you were. It’s okay to make bad decisions and its okay for others to make mistakes too. Life moves on. So long as you accept you; all parts of you—you’ll learn that you come to be okay with yourself and everyone around you.
I feel so liberated by knowing what kind of company I’d like to keep around me. More than that, I have deliberately removed myself from social situations that don’t feel right or good. Now that I’m single, I’m navigating the dating world again and I’m in no rush to settle for the sake of being settled. Being single has given me the chance to rediscover where I want to be. I don’t feel bound to any geographic location and I’m excited at the prospect being anywhere on this planet.
The joys of the ups in this life, come with downs that you just have to try and enjoy as best as you can. And for those especially hard ones, remember that you are not alone and that if you are ever in need, the universe will give you what you ask for. So ask for whatever it is you need and it’ll happen. I keep asking for more love and more adventures; I have yet to be disappointed.